A friend for life
April 12, 2004
By Cam Tait
VANCOUVER, BC // Catherine Ewing is blunt. She works with people
who are dying. Yet at the same time, she eloquently explains her role, and reminds us just how precious life is - even in
its last chapter.
"I have lost many friends over the past eight years, but holding the
hand of someone I have grown to love when they make their final
transition is a privilege and an honour. It is as fulfilling
an endeavour as you could ever hope to find in this crass,
materialistic world," Catherine says.
She has formed a unique bond with the Vancouver Friends For Life Society.
The group manages The Diamond Centre For Living, an elegant home in
the city's West End for people with terminal illnesses. The society
has 1,400 members coping with HIV/AIDS, cancer, Hepatitis C, and other
diseases.
Catherine began her role with the society as a volunteer - and, in fact
she still is one. She's currently serving as the group's interim executive
director. Given her past, though, it's an unlikely task. She was very
involved with her parents in prolonged circumstances. "I did not enjoy
it at all and when my mother passed on after 13 grueling years. I swore
I would never cross the threshold of a hospital again," she says.
Then fate surfaced. After a move to the West Coast for a job that went
sour in its fourth month, Catherine found herself in a strange city.
She was unemployed and alone. A blurb on the radio about Friends For
Life caught her attention. "Little did I know that the members [of the
society] would overwhelm my senses and draw me back to the place again
and again and again. It was initially a saviour to me personally, as
it was a rather dark period in my life. It also turned out to be the
place where I made friendships that not only endured, but are my connection
with the city and the workplace."
During her eight-year association with the group, referred to simply
as Friends, she has done many things. Her first role was volunteering
as a host in the facility's welcome centre, greeting members, doing
paperwork, and making appointments for therapy, counselling, and with
support groups. "Most of the new members have just been diagnosed with
a terminal illness and are in a fragile mental state," she says. "Hooking
them up with other community partners to make the whole process easier,
and as supportive as possible, is a major part of this position."
She continued the hosting work for a year and then joined the
home-team. As members of Friends get to the end of their lives and can no
longer go out to the centre, the home-team goes out into the
community. "For most of these members just having someone there to
listen for a bit is all they want. However, the members of the
home-team make doctor's appointments, provide transportation if
needed, do pick ups if necessary, and any other things that may come
up." Catherine admits it can be tough - "very emotional and draining" she
says - because the relationship ends with the member's death.
After a few years of being with the home-team, she added host training
responsibilities to her duties. The six-week, one evening per week training
course teaches first aid, dealing with mental illness and dementia,
how to respond in a crisis, and the basics of running The Diamond Centre.
She also cooks for 25 members one Sunday a month, and has played a part
in several event committees.
Respect is big in Catherine's world. She thinks it has to be emphasized
more to volunteers in general. "I think that we have gone through a
period where nonprofits have not treated their volunteers well, never
mind with any respect," she says. "Once you have hurt or disrespected
a volunteer - although you may not hear about it - you can bet that
other volunteers within your organization and community have received
a ear full. The best way to attract anyone is to be attractive to begin
with - honestly attractive and not just bells and whistles."
Respect is also the best way to thank volunteers, she says. "If the
thank-yous are honest, respectful, and on-going then the 'thank-you
parties' and special events are just icing on the cake. I volunteer
because I love being with these individuals. Knowing that I am respected
and loved is like winning the lottery."
While Catherine has transferred many of her skills from the for-profit
world to the nonprofit sector, she isn't in the running for the executive
director's job at Friends. She says the board has recently narrowed
their search for an ED. And Catherine has some thoughts about what qualities
that person should possess: compassion, but also business savvy.
Catherine has every intention of staying involved with Friends. "It
is an amazing place and one that I will continue to support because I
love those who need the love."
Do you know of someone who deserves to be in Charity Village's Spotlight?
Send us their name, telephone number and details about their community involvement
to cam@charityvillage.com.
